Wrung Out

I’ve been giving myself permission for my emotions to coexist.

I can get caught up in the grey area of letting my feelings be what they are while wishing they were anything else.

I’m constantly learning how to extend myself grace in this way.

Quite often I struggle with experiencing emotions that seem to conflict. As if I’m not human, as if my entire life up to this point hasn’t proven to me just how varied life can be.

I’ve had more time lately to see just about every feeling as it comes and goes. I honestly thought this would be easier than it is, because I thought that all my feelings would be on one accord.

As much as I’m feeling and as much as I enjoy untangling my own string, it’s been difficult for me to write for the past couple of weeks. More recently it felt like trying to wring a rag dry that had already been wrung.

For the most part the conflicting emotions I’ve been experiencing are gratefulness for something I wanted finally happening, while also feeling anxious about the unknown.

Giving myself grace here looks like telling myself, neither one of these emotions makes the other wrong.

The best I can do right now is accept the humanity of my emotions, extend myself grace, and be present.